Today I stand up in front of an audience (of unknown quantity, although my father has promised he’ll be there) and talk about self-publication.
“How can a minnow make a masterpiece?”
A marvellously alliterative title that I agreed to three months ago…and am now wondering what exactly I meant by it!
It hasn’t been the easiest of run-ins. I did have a practice over 2 weeks ago, when a couple of friends gave me wonderful advice. “Talk more slowly,” they said. There may now have to be a general health warning: If you are coming, please wave a white flag before you fall asleep incase I have taken that too literally. The event starts at 9pm at the Wildman Theatre, Ilkley Playhouse. Too slow and we’ll still be there when the sun rises!
Given all the events of the last couple of weeks it will be a small miracle that I am there at all. Firstly I dropped my mobile phone down the toilet. (Yes, scoring 10/10 for acts of stupidity.) (Though I have now got a shiny new one…)
Then, of course, my mother-in-law’s unexpected death has rather scuppered the family’s emotional state. (I’ve resolved to show my grief by never cleaning the house again…well, it’s the current excuse for dust and dog hairs!)
And now, all my best laid plans for travelling across the Pennines to the county of my birth have been ruined by a bus company that didn’t arrive on time to take my daughter to her school residential. And thus, they are arriving back late. And thus, I am leaving before she gets home. (Or rather – before you call out social services – I’m not. Instead I’ve wasted a precious day of my life sorting out alternative arrangements, and increasing my stress levels.)
On the positive side: it is nearly half-term!
In all seriousness, I am really looking forward to my event this evening. Forgive me a few nerves and it will be a fun look through my process to self-publication.
And then offer me a Gin & Tonic at the end – I’ll probably need it!
See you this evening: 9pm, Wildman Theatre, Ilkley Playhouse,
a free Fringe event as part of Ilkley Literature Festival